I really wish people would educate themselves before opening their mouths, but I do not live in a fantasy world.
My step dad, bless his heart, had an hour long conversation at me last night.. I say AT ME because he talked and I sat there and listened. He was explaining to me that people that go on prozac usually lose like 30-40lbs and that people that use CPAP machines usually lose 10-15lbs.. So his suggestion is that I dont get surgery I just go on pills that I don't need and sleep with a machine I also do not need.
"Why don't you just try something else before you jump into surgery?"
REALLY!?
Have you not been paying attention to me for the last 16 years you have known me?
Lets make a quick list of all the something elses:
- Weight watchers
- Slim Fast
- Cabbage Soup Diet (old school this was when i was like 13-15)
- Nutrisystem
- Trainers at the Gym
- Low Carb
- No Carb
- Advocare
- Diet Pills
- Fasting
Please be supportive.
Please trust that I have done my research.
Please don't try to be a doctor when you are not.
Please do your own research.
END RANT
xoxo,
Jess
Oooo, girl. I can imagine how frustrating that must have been. So what did you say to him after he talked at you?
ReplyDeleteI have been lucky to have a pretty supportive foundation of friends and family throughout this decision-making process. If anyone has had an issue with my decision, they haven't said anything to me about it (as they shouldn't).
I think that a lot of people find fault in others the same faults that they find within themselves. Usually subconscious, or ones they try to hide and bury.
Just remember that other people's thoughts about you have absolutely NOTHING to do with you and EVERYTHING do to with their own inner war. What other people think of me is actually none of my business, as I have no control of the energy they're putting out while they think about me.
Don't just ignore other people's opinions about you, but have compassion for them as they deal with their own internal battle. Not that you're not already doing that :)
I didnt say much. I told him that I have done my research and I am fully aware of what I am getting into. I have also tried other things.... and then my mom jumped in and changed the subject for me. She is good at saving me. He had been drinking so it would have been wasted energy to try to explain things.
DeleteFirst of all, kudos for sticking to your guns and reiterating that you had done your research, explored all options, and come to the conclusion that this is the best plan of action for you.
DeleteLike Anitra mentioned, I'm very lucky that my friends and family have been nothing but supportive. If anyone had any differing opinions about my WLS, they kept them to themselves. I'm grateful for that.
This is all my personal experience, so take from it what you will, but I have lost the weight "on my own". I don't know if I told you, but about 14 years ago, I lost 150 pounds. And…it all came back. Mainly because to stay at that weight, I had to subsist on around 1,000 calories a day. And I'm sure I don't have to tell you… I was hungry like a mofo the whole damn time. My every waking thought had to do with food. I also had to work out five times a week just to maintain 150 pounds on my 5'1 frame. Long story short...I was MISERABLE.
So…what my lap band does for me is it makes eating 850 to 900 calories a day totally doable. I'm satisfied and not hungry like the wolf 24/7. Your sleeve is going to do the same thing for you. No one is saying that weight-loss surgery is a magic bullet, but I'm here to tell you that it helps. A lot. I look at my band as a little extra assistance to help me do the things that I need to do.
I wish I had figured this out years ago.
Yeah, I try to make sure I explain it to people by calling it a tool because that is what it will be. I know it is scary for my mom and step dad. In my 27 years, I have never had surgery... EVER! The fact that I am electing to get cut open and "mutilate" myself in the name of weight-loss is something they are having a tough time wrapping their heads around. Or at least that is how I imagine they are looking at it. They are coming from a place of love, but even in love, people can be hurtful and ignorant.
DeleteIt is just something I am going to have to get through. I have endured a lot worse. This is honestly one of the first totally selfish things I have done in my life, and its okay. Its time to put myself first for once.
This post is the reason I haven't told my dad about my surgery (unless my mom told him, but he hasn't mentioned it to me yet). He lost over 100 lbs by running and "eating right" - and he likes to say he did it without surgery. Plus he is judgmental. Everyone else in my family knows, but I'm worried about him.
ReplyDeleteKate, your dad sounds like my dad.. and I also have not told my dad. He is one of those "oh I stopped having my vodka drink each night and dropped 20lbs overnight" kind of people that I am super jealous of. I have tried all of his magical solutions to weight loss and they have not worked for me. He values thinness. His wife is 120lbs soaking wet and his 3 step daughters are all beautiful and fit. He likes to comment on how hot his wife is and how beautiful his step-daughters are. I don't know how he will react...
Delete