tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19432368388417261822024-03-05T01:14:38.782-08:00Jessica's Journey to OnederlandAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-87178629061934521392015-01-13T10:26:00.001-08:002015-01-13T12:14:41.183-08:00I Am Still Alive!Hello Everyone,<br />
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I am still alive! I have just been a terrible blogger since surgery. Most of my updating happens on Instagram these days (jessicavsg). Since surgery, a lot has happened. Here is the quick and dirty:<br />
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<ul>
<li>I re-vamped my love of crochet/crafting</li>
<li>I began to SELL my crochet projects</li>
<li>I opened an etsy store <a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop/onceaballofyarn">Once A Ball of Yarn</a></li>
<li>I GOT ENGAGED!! (ps. tots made that mug >>>>)</li>
<li>aaaannnnddd I got a promotion.</li>
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Life is good! Here are a few photo updates and my stats!</div>
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16 weeks PO</div>
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HW: 312</div>
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SW: 303</div>
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CW: 265</div>
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and I made this hat...</div>
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and this one....</div>
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and the batman mask...</div>
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all these sweet creations can be found on my etsy shop...</div>
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Including this rose....</div>
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xoxo,</div>
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Jess</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-71085709619331046952014-08-14T09:05:00.001-07:002014-08-14T09:05:40.842-07:00Homemade Blonde!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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xoxo,</div>
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Jess</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-3861578499177562592014-08-06T09:41:00.003-07:002014-08-06T09:41:20.846-07:00I think therefore it didn't happen...So it JUST occurred to me today that I didn't post after my Pre-OP appointment.<br />
<br />
I didn't share the exciting news about my surgery date.<br />
<br />
WOW!<br />
<br />
Surgery is on Monday, September 22, 2014. The first day of Fall! I am excited about this date. (The surgeon did ask me if I would move surgery up if anyone cancels, but I am not counting on that.)<br />
<br />
I have everything prepped for work. My boss is even giving me the option of working on a project at home, so I don't have to use up so much leave time. Super sweet of her!<br />
Everyone at my office has been SO supportive. I really feel like I will be successful because of the support around me.<br />
<br />
I cannot wait to be on the loser's bench. The world is my oyster!<br />
<br />
<br />
xoxo,<br />
<br />
Jess<br />
<br />
<br />
p.s. Next time something exciting happens... I will try not to be a dingbat and forget to post about it. Also, I updated my countdowns :)<br />
<br />
<b><i>And PLEASE CHECK OUT MY VLOG! </i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/Se-aEY6oLxs?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<b><i><br /></i></b>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-78709699317930332672014-08-06T09:09:00.003-07:002014-08-06T09:09:47.730-07:00VLOG!Hello Lovely Lovelies!<br />
<br />
I started a VLOG!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="text-align: start;">You can see the first episode:</span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/Se-aEY6oLxs?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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Let me know what you think :)</div>
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xoxo,</div>
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Jess</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-79060680419650880822014-06-18T10:21:00.000-07:002014-06-18T10:21:08.527-07:002 more weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeks!!!!!TWO.<br />
MORE.<br />
WEEKS.<br />
<br />
<br />
Two more weeks until what you ask?<br />
<br />
Two more weeks until my Pre-Op appt where I get my SUUUUUUUUUUUUURGEEEERRRRRRYYYYY DAAAAAAAAAAAATEEEE!<br />
<br />
Seriously cannot wait to have my surgery date.<br />
<br />
That is all..<br />
<br />
xoxo,<br />
<br />
JessAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-83337185950062860312014-06-09T11:21:00.002-07:002014-06-09T11:21:41.353-07:00Pre-Op ClassHello dear friends!<br />
<br />
I have not fallen off the face of the earth! I just haven't had a lot to report.<br />
<br />
Friday, i went to my 6 hour pre-op class. It was quite informational, and I am so glad I brought my mom with me. She has a much better idea of what and why people go into this surgery.<br />
<br />
I LOVE my surgeon. He was awesome. He could have a second job as a stand up comedian if he ever got bored with surgery, but he seems to really love what he does. Throughout his presentation he kept talking about ways he takes extra care, time and patience with his surgical procedures and you can tell in his results. ZERO complications in over 8 years. I love those stats!<br />
<br />
My mom came with me and I think it was a really good experience. She is a little overweight, but nothing close to me. She is essentially half my size. I think she has been struggling with why i want to get the surgery. After going to the class and hearing what the Surgeon, MA, PA, Nurse and Nutritionist all had to say, i think she gets it.<br />
<br />
Downside: They are already booked through mid-August with surgeries and my appt to schedule isnt until July 2nd. I think I am looking at a September date :(<br />
I am not super happy about that, but it is what it is.<br />
<br />
That's all I've got for now.<br />
<br />
xoxo,<br />
<br />
JessAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-44698628434143696782014-05-08T09:44:00.003-07:002014-05-08T09:44:51.376-07:00Sooooo This happened....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic0yCtxl7U826ZWM8IEED2xNcqS3JjaM1NRiGEoHIgAzlib7xfX5n38KKe5rXA_JCYYveuRi7w8d8V9SxulVxtyR9wnWGGPrRP04aT_quEX8WpYdsrC8HDFNu_7h_PaKfW1qyvz_fE2D4/s1600/20140508_080621.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic0yCtxl7U826ZWM8IEED2xNcqS3JjaM1NRiGEoHIgAzlib7xfX5n38KKe5rXA_JCYYveuRi7w8d8V9SxulVxtyR9wnWGGPrRP04aT_quEX8WpYdsrC8HDFNu_7h_PaKfW1qyvz_fE2D4/s1600/20140508_080621.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></div>
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That is all...</div>
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xoxo,</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Jess</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-13502962137427665992014-04-30T12:31:00.002-07:002014-04-30T12:31:35.392-07:00Hurry up and wait... hurry up and wait... and again, hurry up and wait!Sooooo I finally had my intake consultation on April 17th.<br />
<br />
Great. Wonderful! LETS DO ITTTTT!<br />
<br />
I got a bunch of tests and referrals ordered. Completed everything by 4/29. Not bad. I took the first appts that I could get for everything.<br />
<br />
Pre-op class June 6th. Thats the soonest I could get scheduled. Damn.<br />
<br />
Once I get all tests done I can schedule my Pre-Op visit, ok!<br />
<br />
Call today....<br />
<br />
<br />
JULY 2ND.<br />
<br />
Thats the first one? :(<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8dPZnL-t2bLoY1X7Kf0Gp_qoaUua_ETVUBw1ukFb405aAZ3SK8U4ri45uQhE9lA22zDspcuDpRF03pkqGW44i36GLPrHNEj-1mcT9HgNLq4VrN78DzzzQYy7rnWy-b1XTv43UFsWD1lQ/s1600/pout.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8dPZnL-t2bLoY1X7Kf0Gp_qoaUua_ETVUBw1ukFb405aAZ3SK8U4ri45uQhE9lA22zDspcuDpRF03pkqGW44i36GLPrHNEj-1mcT9HgNLq4VrN78DzzzQYy7rnWy-b1XTv43UFsWD1lQ/s1600/pout.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Surgery is usually scheduled 1-2months AFTER the pre-op visit.<br />
<br />
So I am looking at August most likely.<br />
<br />
Which makes me pout a little, but I know its for the best. August is the slowest time at work, and by then I will have enough paid time off accrued to take off 3 weeks. SO BUCK UP BUTTERCUP! Time to enjoy life before surgery.<br />
<br />
xoxo,<br />
<br />
JessAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-30565510204496557802014-04-21T13:25:00.001-07:002014-04-21T13:25:41.653-07:00Pre-Op Headgames 2014!<div class="MsoNormal">
In the past week or so I have found myself gravitating
towards post-op behaviors. I am not making an active decision usually, its just
what I am craving. For example, today I went to the café/mini store at work for
a snack-lunch and grabbed cottage cheese, peaches, some cheese and a high
protein milk shake (with a shot espresso).
These are all things that I like, and most of them are things I
hear/see/read post-op sleevers/banders talking about eating. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Over the weekend, I found myself using smaller plates/bowls.
I had been feeling like a cavernous pit of empty two weeks ago, and now I feel
like I get full on a lot less. Pre-op head games. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am happy for the change in direction. It will help to easy
my system into these changes. Hopefully my body will not have such a shock this
way. No matter what I do pre-op it will be a transition, but can’t hurt right?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Still going to the gym in the mornings. Nothing too crazy, just
cardio right now. I am trying to build in the habit and then I will pump up the
intensity.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Had an awesome beachy easter weekend with some family and
the boyf. Went digging for razor clams.. and by went I mean my dad, step mom
and step sister went clamming and I stayed and watched in the house. Moral
support. I didn’t get my license and didn’t
want to risk it. Still fun. We went to
the crab races and walked around town. It’s
the 3<sup>rd</sup> weekend in a month I have spent out there. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Feeling super sleepy today even with my morning gym sesh.
Need to work on getting to sleep earlier. My goal tonight is to be in bed by 7….
This way I can hopefully be sleeping my 830-9. We’ll seeeeeeeeeeeee!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Xoxo,<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
Jess<o:p></o:p></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-40864159400324345382014-04-18T15:46:00.003-07:002014-04-18T15:47:08.104-07:00Random Friday FunnySaw this on facebook and it made me laugh...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGqUbDhWVdVgzsY6CllJlyNeJs0YV_oZERJPcyV5UlYChasLWR4PeVM30A_a4VpNWZM5wdc-XRFXnCpEzggG5NRMdaJecMgajvA8cwWybAHXDGYeSdzIMwQT0BfOZEPjujPbFH1QL4gmg/s1600/10170965_10201845792881777_152592691290532818_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGqUbDhWVdVgzsY6CllJlyNeJs0YV_oZERJPcyV5UlYChasLWR4PeVM30A_a4VpNWZM5wdc-XRFXnCpEzggG5NRMdaJecMgajvA8cwWybAHXDGYeSdzIMwQT0BfOZEPjujPbFH1QL4gmg/s1600/10170965_10201845792881777_152592691290532818_n.jpg" height="351" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-20212681221340957682014-04-17T11:17:00.000-07:002014-04-17T11:17:09.554-07:00Consultation Visit CHECK!I was so excited for this appt today at 9:30am... 9:30.... 9:35.... 9:45 WTF why hasn't she called? EMAIL..... 10:00....10:15 SERIOUSLY?! VOICEMAIL..... 10:30 Call main office... Told to wait.... 10:45 ring ring... FINNALLLLLYYY<br />
<br />
The scheduler entered my phone number incorrect.. lovely.<br />
<br />
So she asks me a bunch of medical history questions, what do i do for work, do i exercise, etc.<br />
<br />
Clean bill of health.. just fat.... obese... morbidly obese.<br />
<br />
So she tells me that I have a packet coming in the mail with a list of ALL the things I need to do PRIOR to scheduling my Pre-op appt with the surgeon that has to happen AFTER my class which is scheduled for June 6th. She will try to schedule it as soon after the class as she can but I have to complete the list first. CHALLENGE ON! Oh and surgery is scheduled 6-8 weeks <b>after </b> the pre-op appt. So I am looking at August/Sept for Surgery. Kind of bummed about that, but it will be ok.<br />
<br />
Going today at lunch to get my lab work done. Its the easiest thing on the list.<br />
<br />
Hooooray<br />
<br />
xoxo,<br />
<br />
JessAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-42903450465534020952014-04-15T08:27:00.001-07:002014-04-15T08:41:21.093-07:00Short Hair Don't Care!I was considering waiting until I was post-op and dropped like 50lbs or so to get a haircut.... but why wait to feel good until after I have surgery?!?<br />
<br />
Crazy haircut story:<br />
<br />
I went to a Hairmasters that I had never been to in a town that isn't super close to where I live, but I just felt like that was the best one to go to for some reason. My hair stylist is a younger chick named Ali. She is super cute and bubbly and we start talking about my Harry Potter phone case and random fan girl nerdy/geeky stuff. Near the end of my hair cut when she was blow drying my hair, she started saying goodbye to the other hairstylist. She was saying good luck for her cardiologist and hope she clears him for surgery (anytime anyone mentions surgery now I auto think WLS) and the other lady responds with "he better! I didn't pay all this money and haven't been on a liquid diet for a week for nothing!" DING DING DING! So I pipe up being the nosey-B I am, "Are you having WLS?" YEP! She sure was... She is going to be getting sleeved.... Like me!<br />
<br />
So totally random hair place at a totally random time, and I make a new WLS friend. We started yapping about different protein powders and websites to find supplements and all sorts of stuff. I gave her my number so she can keep in touch with me. Love it!!<br />
<br />
Oh and here is the haircut......<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9o6aduFZuChyql71RuPSMdXILQsK-M0bA4JNAKVdwFCIYSsfsdShbfdAc5fAnkvkoQwdq8o8EJBO_MIfc6j8h7iSxT2IEKNWMiqITMxak3oB7j1z1BhdS-yOxQaX6yTz0R6hHdxKEsW8/s1600/1920120_865588511966_6018807050894801008_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9o6aduFZuChyql71RuPSMdXILQsK-M0bA4JNAKVdwFCIYSsfsdShbfdAc5fAnkvkoQwdq8o8EJBO_MIfc6j8h7iSxT2IEKNWMiqITMxak3oB7j1z1BhdS-yOxQaX6yTz0R6hHdxKEsW8/s1600/1920120_865588511966_6018807050894801008_n.jpg" height="640" width="360" /></a></div>
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A picture is worth 1000 words... so that is all :)</div>
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xoxo,</div>
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Jess</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-75271405642720921192014-04-09T13:37:00.000-07:002014-04-09T13:37:19.467-07:00Self Destructive State of MindI am in this place of total self destruction.<br />
<br />
Hooray for me, I have been to the gym the past three days. I feel good about that.<br />
<br />
BUT<br />
<br />
I am on this continual food funeral cycle. Like for instance, Soda... I don't care much for it, but now that I have it in my mind that I should not/cannot have it after I am sleeved now I want it? Terrible.<br />
<br />
I went to all you can eat sushi this weekend with my mom and ate to the point of pain... because I think I can never have sushi again? Because I can never have that MUCH sushi at one time again? Why?<br />
<br />
Today I am having chips.... I haven't had them in a long time and I usually don't have them, but somewhere in the back of my mind I think I want to eat all the crap I can until I see the nutritionist and figure out what they want me to do......<br />
<br />
Like I don't already know?! With as much research on blogs and vlogs and everything else I am preeeettttty sure I already know what to expect.<br />
<br />
Last night, right before bed aka the worst time ever to weight yourself... I weighed myself. the highest number I have ever seen my scale spit back at me: <b>300.2</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>WELP! There it is. 300.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
(this morning it was back down to 296)<br />
<br />
I just don't like where my head is at... half healthy and half ... grieving? I guess that must be it.<br />
<br />
I LOVE food. I love it. All of it. I will try anything and everything. Part of me is sad that food won't be such a centralized thing in my life and part of me is grateful. I need to reshape my relationship with food without a doubt, but I don't know any other way of life.<br />
<br />
Will be interesting to look back this after I am post-op and reflect.<br />
<br />
xoxo,<br />
<br />
JessAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-67993150037696882972014-04-07T11:14:00.002-07:002014-04-07T11:14:55.030-07:001st Day BackToday was my first day back in the gym since December.... WoW!!!!<br />
<br />
I have been super slacking with my routine of gymming it in the AM before work. I just ordered new gym clothes and got them this weekend, so I started my week off right.<br />
<br />
I have been known to bite off more than I can chew and then peeter out. SOOOO Today I said I would do 30mins.<br />
<br />
I did my 30 mins on the elliptical and 5 min cool down. I still have a 20min walk to and from my car to my office.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow maybe I will get a little weight training in?<br />
<br />
Feeling good.<br />
<br />
It's important to me that I feel strong going into surgery. I am not going to wait until I am post-op to start living right.<br />
<br />
xoxo,<br />
<br />
JessAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-19082044773219356032014-04-04T12:45:00.000-07:002014-04-04T12:45:08.213-07:00The 10 WLS Commandments (made me laugh so I had to share)<br />
THE 10 WEIGHT LOSS COMMANDMENTS<br />
<br />
<br />
• Thou shall exercise 5 times per week for 40-45 minutes.<br />
• Thou shall not covet the carbohydrate.<br />
• Thou shall not eat more than 3 meals per day and shall not have unhealthy snacks between meals.<br />
• Thou shall drink at least 8 glasses of water each day.<br />
• Thou shall eat a minimum of 70 grams of protein each day.<br />
• Thou shall honor thy commitment to good health and healthy choices.<br />
• Thou shall keep follow-up appointments with thy doctor.<br />
• Thou shall always take thy vitamins.<br />
• Thou shall not weigh thyself more than once-a-week.<br />
• Thou shall always keep the memory of the past and the hope of the future as a clear image in thy mind.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-11002440396466281782014-04-03T14:04:00.000-07:002014-04-03T14:04:58.708-07:00Support Group<div class="MsoNormal">
Yesterday I made my first real step since my approval.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I went to one of my health plan’s bariatric support group
meetings. Out of the 11 people there, only 1 was a post-op patient. Julie, the
bariatric nurse/case manager, came to the meeting. I have spoken with her on
the phone and conversed with her via email, so it was really nice to put a face
to a name/voice. She has been with my health plan as the bariatric nurse for
over 20 years, so her knowledge is precious and vast. She knows the ins and outs of the procedures
as well as all the paperwork stuff that goes along with it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I have not had my consultation yet, so I was many steps
behind everyone else that was there.
From hearing other people speak about where they were at in the process,
I learned that it was going to take a lot longer than I expected and wanted.
The number of referrals has grown and they only have 1 surgeon now. This means
everything takes longer. There have been budget cuts in all sorts of
departments, so what used to take 2 months is now taking 5-6. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I emailed Julie this morning to ask if she could get me
signed up for the mandatory class prior to my first consultation, and again,
she did! She is wonderful. My class is a 6hr class on June 6<sup>th</sup>. They
only have one class per month and the April and May classes are full. I am
hoping I can schedule my pre-op visit for as soon after June 6<sup>th</sup> as
they will let me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Another thing I found out, I will have a 2 night stay in the
hospital and will be required to take 2-4 weeks off work depending on the doctors’
orders. A little longer than I was
expecting, but that’s ok.<o:p></o:p></div>
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All in all, I was very happy I went to the group. I plan on
attending the one in May. Its nice to
get more of the specifics of my health plan from people who have gone through
it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Xoxo,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jessica<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-52282055002921268512014-03-31T12:18:00.002-07:002014-03-31T12:18:59.380-07:0017 days<div class="MsoNormal">
17 days….<o:p></o:p></div>
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17 days until my 1<sup>st</sup> consultation.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I<o:p></o:p></div>
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Cannot<o:p></o:p></div>
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Friggin<o:p></o:p></div>
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Wait!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I am going to my first support group meeting on Wednesday
evening. It’s a great start and a great way for me to get accustomed to the
specifics of the surgery through my health plan. I feel like I am waiting in
line at Disneyland and it seems like it is taking FOOOOOREEEEEEVER. Before I
know it I will be on the ride and it will be over faster than I know. I will
look back and the wait won’t even be an issue.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have started trying to incorporate post-op behaviors into
my daily life. This way the transition won’t seem so severe. I have been using
smaller plates and bowls, and making sure I am getting enough water in. When I
remember, I try to eat my proteins first then the rest. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As much as I want to, I am holding off on buying any post-op
supplies as I have heard over and over again that your tastes change. I don’t want
to have a bunch of useless protein.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My posts feel sort of boring to me right now… they will get
more exciting once I have a surgery date I hope <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Xoxo,<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Jess<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-12371136912942780052014-03-28T09:39:00.002-07:002014-03-28T09:39:44.084-07:00"Why don't you try....."Last night I had one of those experiences that I am sure EVERYONE that has WLS goes through. Someone telling you all the ways you could lose weight by NOT having WLS. Because they know better than you right? This is just something we all jump into with no thought because we are just fat and lazy and this is the easy way out. Right?<br />
<br />
I really wish people would educate themselves before opening their mouths, but I do not live in a fantasy world.<br />
<br />
My step dad, bless his heart, had an hour long conversation at me last night.. I say AT ME because he talked and I sat there and listened. He was explaining to me that people that go on prozac usually lose like 30-40lbs and that people that use CPAP machines usually lose 10-15lbs.. So his suggestion is that I dont get surgery I just go on pills that I don't need and sleep with a machine I also do not need. <br />
<br />
"Why don't you just try something else before you jump into surgery?"<br />
<br />
REALLY!?<br />
<br />
Have you not been paying attention to me for the last 16 years you have known me?<br />
<br />
Lets make a quick list of all the something elses:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Weight watchers</li>
<li>Slim Fast</li>
<li>Cabbage Soup Diet (old school this was when i was like 13-15)</li>
<li>Nutrisystem</li>
<li>Trainers at the Gym</li>
<li>Low Carb</li>
<li>No Carb</li>
<li>Advocare</li>
<li>Diet Pills</li>
<li>Fasting</li>
</ul>
and probably more things I am not even thinking of because im all fired up!<br />
<br />
<b>Please </b>be supportive.<br />
<b>Please </b>trust that I have done my research.<br />
<b>Please</b> don't try to be a doctor when you are not.<br />
<b>Please </b>do your own research.<br />
<br />
<b><i>END RANT</i></b><br />
<br />
xoxo,<br />
<br />
Jess<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-31175962368803262752014-03-24T14:43:00.000-07:002014-05-05T11:57:49.454-07:00Must haves and comforts...Part of my pre-surgical journey has been digging up as much info as possible to get me prepare for the big day. In this quest of ultimate surgical knowledge, I have encountered a lot of wonderful tips, products and ideas. I am going to work on compiling them in this post. I will update it as I go.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Hospital Must- Haves:</h3>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Pillow with your own cozy pillowcase</li>
<li>Gas-X <b>strips</b></li>
<li>Toothbrush/paste</li>
<li>Shampoo/Conditioner</li>
<li>Clean undies</li>
<li>Chap stick</li>
<li>Lotion</li>
<li>Phone/Tablet</li>
<li>Mouth wash</li>
<li>Slippers with grippers</li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><b>Abdominal Binder</b>- I have only seen one person mention this but I would imagine it will be a friggin life saver</li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1943236838841726182" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1943236838841726182" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a>!<img align="middle" alt="" border="0" class="th" height="95" name="imgthumb9" src="data:image/jpeg;base64,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" style="margin: -1px 0px 0px;" title="http://www.dme-direct.com/deroyal-sized-abdominal-binders" width="95" /></div>
<ul>
<li>Loose clothes</li>
<li>Phone charger!</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<h3>
Pre/Post-op Must- Haves:</h3>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Cup warmer (GENIUS! for those times you are eating something warm and don't want it to be cold by the time you finish)</li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="Beverage Warmer" class="main_image" src="http://www.brookstone.com/webassets/product_images/700x700/674473p.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></div>
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<ul>
<li>Powdered milk... for those liquid diet days when clear broth gets boring and you want something "creamy"</li>
<li>Yonanas machine. It takes plain, frozen fruit and turns it into a frozen treat!</li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEjSyOJjrzLQNA91s6KXEBguJBw8bPcnx1LRt7cRpAkEWPcSxpToNMGXye8wCjRBNxdNtfKUBygxZkVu1_OUgcr4vl1yzHRPC5WpbzoCaPUA1QE2IUgFeV7LdO1XxOlqQM4OA_qf24X98U4T2CNxlB2LdIT_rmdWrqPffTqIhGQbIkOVT_rk=" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://yonanas.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Yonanas_Elite_Black.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
<ul>
<li>How about Unjury's 21g of protein CHEESE SAUCE?! What fat kid doesn't like them some cheese sauce... mix this with some spaghetti squash and its healthy mac.</li>
</ul>
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<img alt=" Protein’d® Cheese Sauce, by UNJURY® Protein" src="http://www.unjury.com/store/skin/frontend/default/default/images/proteind/product_th_proteind.png" height="188" title=" Protein’d® Cheese Sauce, by UNJURY® Protein" width="82" /><br />
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;">Sippy cup/ Tervis cup!</li>
<li style="text-align: left;">Baby spoons</li>
<li style="text-align: left;">Baby plates</li>
<li style="text-align: left;">Pill box for vitamins</li>
</ul>
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Those are my best ones so far. I will add more as I find them!</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
xoxo,</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Jess</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPO4Dy4feljcm4ggT_5YvZvDb7ZXNzh87qxr2Y8gGpId6fLQPW5HUH8j3NC6X5o-kSZqbYgWWFv4MrsFLJxMwXZo8xg84VExRIx4m0mixATNyOzhwzXO_KJCEjVSut79pQQE6IR-2Oxf4/s1600/struggle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPO4Dy4feljcm4ggT_5YvZvDb7ZXNzh87qxr2Y8gGpId6fLQPW5HUH8j3NC6X5o-kSZqbYgWWFv4MrsFLJxMwXZo8xg84VExRIx4m0mixATNyOzhwzXO_KJCEjVSut79pQQE6IR-2Oxf4/s1600/struggle.jpg" height="320" width="313" /></a></div>
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I saw this meme on Facebook recently, and it reminded me of growing up. I have frequently had hot dogs or hamburgers with no buns, so we used bread. It didn't bother me, but it got me thinking about other struggles that people don't realize.</div>
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You don't know the struggle until:</h3>
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</div>
<ul>
<li>you cant sleep at night because your limbs start to fall asleep or hurt because your own body is crushing them</li>
<li>you can <b>only </b>fit into leggings/stretch pants because even your fat work pants wont fit anymore</li>
<li>you can't buy wide calf boots because even those won't fit around your legs</li>
<li>you don't go shopping with you sisters because you can't shop at the same stores</li>
<li>your XXL underwear fall off your ass all day because your front-butt gets in the way</li>
<li>you sit at an angle in the car because your stomach gets in the way of the steering wheel otherwise</li>
<li>you take the elevator vs. stairs at work because you don't want to be sweating and out of breath for the meeting</li>
<li>you can't go to the gym because somehow your XXL gym clothes no longer fit</li>
<li>you can't put your socks and shoes on</li>
<li>you can't cut (don't even think about paint) your own toe nails. </li>
</ul>
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the list goes on...</div>
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I found this tattoo a while ago, and I decided it would be a great post-weight loss tattoo. <b>"without struggle there is no progress" </b>It speaks to me on many levels. I have fought hard throughout my life to be successful, so that I didn't have to choose between sandwich bread and hot dog buns in the grocery story (although I should just really avoid carbs... and hot dogs to be honest). The struggle of being overweight is what drives me to want a change. Need a change. A lot of people in my life think this decision to get weight-loss surgery is one of vanity. Sure, I want to look good, but more than that I want to FEEL good. I want to be comfortable in my own body and know that I am doing what is best for <i>ME. </i></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihlil3VdV2GGOmnk_olbDByOyufc1TSXfVWUrsvf0X8zhYWEZsvQWz5XeMC3OnS524-AP5h33TjztEe_RyQwrYoNxRK-qIAIECyq7oS6a0ZWVl3QXcdbytqdZG97ZyeFOTQMBL-IUJIx8/s1600/7365474_f248.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihlil3VdV2GGOmnk_olbDByOyufc1TSXfVWUrsvf0X8zhYWEZsvQWz5XeMC3OnS524-AP5h33TjztEe_RyQwrYoNxRK-qIAIECyq7oS6a0ZWVl3QXcdbytqdZG97ZyeFOTQMBL-IUJIx8/s1600/7365474_f248.jpg" /></a><br />
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xoxo, </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Jess</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhucO7cN9zHEh7aq1qyRf4dCseZBjndq9C8qZ2bIbRU_vBxzNfAMSI6OK-dxRMo3FWeCmQR-AxEPlyAmgBZCL3JULWCdI3PK9akS6H5PJFY7l7daiZPq4AzmMp2oJS-NOJhEaYsN9373X4/s1600/1517-20131212-LoveTheStruggle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhucO7cN9zHEh7aq1qyRf4dCseZBjndq9C8qZ2bIbRU_vBxzNfAMSI6OK-dxRMo3FWeCmQR-AxEPlyAmgBZCL3JULWCdI3PK9akS6H5PJFY7l7daiZPq4AzmMp2oJS-NOJhEaYsN9373X4/s1600/1517-20131212-LoveTheStruggle.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-34919263670053835142014-03-19T13:59:00.001-07:002014-03-19T13:59:45.476-07:00It doesn't hurt to ask ... "They" sayI have always been taught "<i>It doesn't hurt to ask." </i>However, I do not normally live by that idiom. I usually don't ask for one reason or another. I don't want to be a bother. I don't want to be <b>that girl. </b> I just don't like to cause others extra work on my account. Maybe that resonates somewhere deeper inside of me because I think I am unworthy of extra work? What makes me so special that I should ask for someone else to go out of their way for me?<br />
<br />
Well, yesterday I decided that I did not like the scheduler's answer. I did not like having to wait THREE MONTHS for an intake appointment. Especially knowing that I would have two months of work proceeding that appointment before surgery. So, I did something that I don't normally do. I called the bariatric nurse. I left a message and I told her I didn't like the fact I was on a waiting list for June. I told her I know what I want and its important to me to get in sooner. I was kind and just asked.<br />
<br />
Today, I got an email from her stating her apologies for the mishap with her schedule. She had a cancellation and asked if I wanted it. When is this cancellation you ask.... APRIL 17th! WONDERFUL! Yes, I will take it. I am extremely grateful. 4 weeks.. HECK YES! Things are looking up again. Sometimes I just have to behave like I matter and good things happen.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJa7-ntRuTAQkt83QRPSI453JC_beAYwmRgxOpO_fruhqjXYzs0SRlU6lDh-pCj0LYlgDC1T1KQz6lkLFJw0cOyFxBzrjDhjgQakF2cmkBGa40soIppKb6IpVytqOb_u5AAVakbH1m6Bw/s1600/happy-baby-turtle-is-happy-big.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJa7-ntRuTAQkt83QRPSI453JC_beAYwmRgxOpO_fruhqjXYzs0SRlU6lDh-pCj0LYlgDC1T1KQz6lkLFJw0cOyFxBzrjDhjgQakF2cmkBGa40soIppKb6IpVytqOb_u5AAVakbH1m6Bw/s1600/happy-baby-turtle-is-happy-big.jpg" height="241" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
xoxo,<br />
<br />
JessAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-2696512896591784392014-03-18T15:34:00.002-07:002014-03-18T16:16:04.881-07:00OMG YES YES YES!!APPROVAL APPROVAL!!! I GOT APPROVAL!!!!<br />
<br />
I just received the email from my PCP letting me know that I got approval from the bariatric case manager!!! YAY!!!<br />
<br />
Now things can begin on the road to surgery!<br />
<br />
SO HAPPY!!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Update:<br />
<br />
Super anticlimactic, I called the bariatric center to schedule my 30 min phone intake and now I am on a waiting list for JUNE. NOT what I wanted to hear... 3 months before I can start the 2+ month process. uuuuuuuuuggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-43339772527806196392014-03-17T11:51:00.001-07:002014-03-17T11:51:53.515-07:00Monday, Monday!I had a delightfully uneventful weekend. Rest was much needed after the shock of daylight savings time. Can't remember the last time I felt so depleted. I didn't even get out of my PJs on Sunday. I did do my food prep for all my lunches for the week, so that made me feel good. I am still working on getting my routines down in the new house.<br />
<br />
<b>Still </b>waiting to hear anything from my health plan. The longer I wait the more I learn, so I suppose there are worst things in the world. I thought I was leaning towards the band but now I am really thinking its going to be the sleeve for me. I even watched the surgeries being performed on YouTube. If you don't have an aversion to blood/surgical stuff, you should check it out. Very interesting to see exactly what happens. Helped me to better understand some of the pain and discomfort that I hear post-op people talking about.<br />
<br />
On the recommendation of <a href="http://stayinginthepink.blogspot.com/">Cheri</a>, I read this book over the weekend. "Stranger here: How weight-loss surgery transformed my body and messed with my head" by Jen Laren. I got it on Audible.com. It was VERY fun to listen to. The lady who does the reading does a really good job of expressing the characters. I found the book to give a good "insider" version of WLS and the full scope of changes.. mind, body, relationships, careers, ALL of it. She doesn't hold anything back. The one thing about this book that had me raising an eyebrow is it doesn't seem like she worked out much to get such huge weight loss results. I am not sure if that's just something she doesn't talk about much in the book or what. Good book, you should check it out if you haven't. If you are like me and can't sit still long enough to read a real book, audible has it!<br />
<br />
<img height="320" src="http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2013-03-27-strangerhereprint.jpg" width="212" /><br />
<br />
Hope everyone has a lovely Monday.<br />
<br />
xoxo,<br />
<br />
JessAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-29598397873456577592014-03-14T09:34:00.000-07:002014-03-14T09:34:08.908-07:00To Sleeve or Band.. That is the question!Sooooooooooooooo<br />
<br />
This quest for a healthy Jessica has lead to LOTS of reading. LOTS of it. I thought that I wanted the band, but now I am starting to consider the sleeve. I have not started talking to the bariatric team yet as I am still awaiting the approval. I would like some feedback from anyone who happens to read this and has some insight they would care to share.<br />
<br />
Ready<br />
.<br />
..<br />
...<br />
....<br />
Set<br />
.<br />
..<br />
...<br />
....<br />
<b>COMMENT!</b><br />
<br />
<img alt="" src="http://www.marinahospital.com/administration/plugins/image.php?width=220&image=/administration/uploads/gastric-sleeve-vs-lap-band.jpg" />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02017587156903644085noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1943236838841726182.post-68676344890057594562014-03-13T09:59:00.002-07:002014-03-13T09:59:50.976-07:00BAMFAlright, this will be a shorty. I have not used the term BAMF in a long time, so that's kinda fun. I was told yesterday to listen to this new song "Turn Down For What" by DJ Snake and Lil Jon. It makes me feel like a <b>BAMF. </b>I noticed as I was walking into work (my parking spot is a 20 minute walk to my building...picked it on purpose) that I was walking with swagger. I don't normally use me and "swag" in a sentence, but today that is the only appropriate term I can come up with for my walking.<br />
<br />
I'm still waiting to find out if I got approval from the bariatric case manager. Hate waiting. No patience. Well some.. just not for things I am excited about. I don't know if excited is the right word... maybe motivated or driven. I am just ready to start working on a healthier me and I want to know if am accepted into the program or not.<br />
<br />
Anywhooosie, I hope everyone is having a nice day.<br />
<br />
xoxo,<br />
<br />
Jess<br />
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