I Am Still Alive!

Hello Everyone,

I am still alive! I have just been a terrible blogger since surgery.  Most of my updating happens on Instagram these days (jessicavsg).  Since surgery, a lot has happened.  Here is the quick and dirty:

• I re-vamped my love of crochet/crafting
• I began to SELL my crochet projects
• I opened an etsy store Once A Ball of Yarn
• I GOT ENGAGED!! (ps. tots made that mug >>>>)
• aaaannnnddd I got a promotion.

Life is good!  Here are a few photo updates and my stats!

16 weeks PO

HW: 312

SW: 303

CW: 265

and I made this hat...

and this one....

and the batman mask...

all these sweet creations can be found on my etsy shop...

Including this rose....

xoxo,

Jess

Homemade Blonde!

xoxo,

Jess

I think therefore it didn't happen...

So it JUST occurred to me today that I didn't post after my Pre-OP appointment.

I didn't share the exciting news about my surgery date.

WOW!

Surgery is on Monday, September 22, 2014.   The first day of Fall! I am excited about this date. (The surgeon did ask me if I would move surgery up if anyone cancels, but I am not counting on that.)

I have everything prepped for work. My boss is even giving me the option of working on a project at home, so I don't have to use up so much leave time. Super sweet of her!
Everyone at my office has been SO supportive. I really feel like I will be successful because of the support around me.

I cannot wait to be on the loser's bench. The world is my oyster!


xoxo,

Jess


p.s. Next time something exciting happens... I will try not to be a dingbat and forget to post about it. Also,  I updated my countdowns :)

And PLEASE CHECK OUT MY VLOG! 

VLOG!

Hello Lovely Lovelies!

I started a VLOG!

You can see the first episode:

Let me know what you think :)

xoxo,

Jess

2 more weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeks!!!!!

TWO.
MORE.
WEEKS.


Two more weeks until what you ask?

Two more weeks until my Pre-Op appt where I get my SUUUUUUUUUUUUURGEEEERRRRRRYYYYY DAAAAAAAAAAAATEEEE!

Seriously cannot wait to have my surgery date.

That is all..

xoxo,

Jess

Pre-Op Class

Hello dear friends!

I have not fallen off the face of the earth!  I just haven't had a lot to report.

Friday, i went to my 6 hour pre-op class. It was quite informational, and I am so glad I brought my mom with me. She has a much better idea of what and why people go into this surgery.

I LOVE my surgeon. He was awesome. He could have a second job as a stand up comedian if he ever got bored with surgery, but he seems to really love what he does. Throughout his presentation he kept talking about ways he takes extra care, time and patience with his surgical procedures and you can tell in his results. ZERO complications in over 8 years. I love those stats!

My mom came with me and I think it was a really good experience. She is a little overweight, but nothing close to me. She is essentially half my size.  I think she has been struggling with why i want to get the surgery.  After going to the class and hearing what the Surgeon, MA, PA, Nurse and Nutritionist all had to say, i think she gets it.

Downside: They are already booked through mid-August with surgeries and my appt to schedule isnt until July 2nd. I think I am looking at a September date :(
I am not super happy about that, but it is what it is.

That's all I've got for now.

xoxo,

Jess

Sooooo This happened....

That is all...

xoxo,

Jess

Hurry up and wait... hurry up and wait... and again, hurry up and wait!

Sooooo I finally had my intake consultation on April 17th.

Great. Wonderful! LETS DO ITTTTT!

I got a bunch of tests and referrals ordered. Completed everything by 4/29. Not bad. I took the first appts that I could get for everything.

Pre-op class June 6th. Thats the soonest I could get scheduled. Damn.

Once I get all tests done I can schedule my Pre-Op visit, ok!

Call today....


JULY 2ND.

Thats the first one? :(

Surgery is usually scheduled 1-2months AFTER the pre-op visit.

So I am looking at August most likely.

Which makes me pout a little, but I know its for the best. August is the slowest time at work, and by then I will have enough paid time off accrued to take off 3 weeks. SO BUCK UP BUTTERCUP!  Time to enjoy life before surgery.

xoxo,

Jess

Pre-Op Headgames 2014!

In the past week or so I have found myself gravitating towards post-op behaviors. I am not making an active decision usually, its just what I am craving. For example, today I went to the café/mini store at work for a snack-lunch and grabbed cottage cheese, peaches, some cheese and a high protein milk shake (with a shot espresso).  These are all things that I like, and most of them are things I hear/see/read post-op sleevers/banders talking about eating.

Over the weekend, I found myself using smaller plates/bowls. I had been feeling like a cavernous pit of empty two weeks ago, and now I feel like I get full on a lot less. Pre-op head games.

I am happy for the change in direction. It will help to easy my system into these changes. Hopefully my body will not have such a shock this way. No matter what I do pre-op it will be a transition, but can’t hurt right?

Still going to the gym in the mornings. Nothing too crazy, just cardio right now. I am trying to build in the habit and then I will pump up the intensity.

Had an awesome beachy easter weekend with some family and the boyf. Went digging for razor clams.. and by went I mean my dad, step mom and step sister went clamming and I stayed and watched in the house. Moral support.  I didn’t get my license and didn’t want to risk it.  Still fun. We went to the crab races and walked around town.  It’s the 3^rd weekend in a month I have spent out there.

Feeling super sleepy today even with my morning gym sesh. Need to work on getting to sleep earlier. My goal tonight is to be in bed by 7…. This way I can hopefully be sleeping my 830-9. We’ll seeeeeeeeeeeee!

Xoxo,

Jess

Random Friday Funny

Saw this on facebook and it made me laugh...

Consultation Visit CHECK!

I was so excited for this appt today at 9:30am... 9:30.... 9:35.... 9:45 WTF why hasn't she called?  EMAIL..... 10:00....10:15 SERIOUSLY?!  VOICEMAIL..... 10:30 Call main office... Told to wait.... 10:45 ring ring... FINNALLLLLYYY

The scheduler entered my phone number incorrect.. lovely.

So she asks me a bunch of medical history questions, what do i do for work, do i exercise, etc.

Clean bill of health.. just fat.... obese... morbidly obese.

So she tells me that I have a packet coming in the mail with a list of ALL the things I need to do PRIOR to scheduling my Pre-op appt with the surgeon that has to happen AFTER my class which is scheduled for June 6th. She will try to schedule it as soon after the class as she can but I have to complete the list first. CHALLENGE ON!  Oh and surgery is scheduled 6-8 weeks after  the pre-op appt. So I am looking at August/Sept for Surgery. Kind of bummed about that, but it will be ok.

Going today at lunch to get my lab work done. Its the easiest thing on the list.

Hooooray

xoxo,

Jess

Short Hair Don't Care!

I was considering waiting until I was post-op and dropped like 50lbs or so to get a haircut.... but why wait to feel good until after I have surgery?!?

Crazy haircut story:

I went to a Hairmasters that I had never been to in a town that isn't super close to where I live, but I just felt like that was the best one to go to for some reason. My hair stylist is a younger chick named Ali. She is super cute and bubbly and we start talking about my Harry Potter phone case and random fan girl nerdy/geeky stuff.  Near the end of my hair cut when she was blow drying my hair, she started saying goodbye to the other hairstylist. She was saying good luck for her cardiologist and hope she clears him for surgery (anytime anyone mentions surgery now I auto think WLS) and the other lady responds with "he better! I didn't pay all this money and haven't been on a liquid diet for a week for nothing!"  DING DING DING! So I pipe up being the nosey-B I am, "Are you having WLS?"  YEP! She sure was... She is going to be getting sleeved.... Like me!

So totally random hair place at a totally random time, and I make a new WLS friend. We started yapping about different protein powders and websites to find supplements and all sorts of stuff. I gave her my number so she can keep in touch with me. Love it!!

Oh and here is the haircut......

A picture is worth 1000 words... so that is all :)

xoxo,

Jess

Self Destructive State of Mind

I am in this place of total self destruction.

Hooray for me, I have been to the gym the past three days. I feel good about that.

BUT

I am on this continual food funeral cycle. Like for instance, Soda... I don't care much for it, but now that I have it in my mind that I should not/cannot have it after I am sleeved now I want it? Terrible.

I went to all you can eat sushi this weekend with my mom and ate to the point of pain... because I think I can never have sushi again? Because I can never have that MUCH sushi at one time again? Why?

Today I am having chips.... I haven't had them in a long time and I usually don't have them, but somewhere in the back of my mind I think I want to eat all the crap I can until I see the nutritionist and figure out what they want me to do......

Like I don't already know?! With as much research on blogs and vlogs and everything else I am preeeettttty sure I already know what to expect.

Last night, right before bed aka the worst time ever to weight yourself... I weighed myself. the highest number I have ever seen my scale spit back at me: 300.2

WELP! There it is. 300.

(this morning it was back down to 296)

I just don't like where my head is at... half healthy and half ... grieving? I guess that must be it.

I LOVE food. I love it. All of it. I will try anything and everything. Part of me is sad that food won't be such a centralized thing in my life and part of me is grateful. I need to reshape my relationship with food without a doubt, but I don't know any other way of life.

Will be interesting to look back this after I am post-op and reflect.

xoxo,

Jess

1st Day Back

Today was my first day back in the gym since December.... WoW!!!!

I have been super slacking with my routine of gymming it in the AM before work. I just ordered new gym clothes and got them this weekend, so I started my week off right.

I have been known to bite off more than I can chew and then peeter out.  SOOOO Today I said I would do 30mins.

I did my 30 mins on the elliptical and 5 min cool down. I still have a 20min walk to and from my car to my office.

Tomorrow maybe I will get a little weight training in?

Feeling good.

It's important to me that I feel strong going into surgery. I am not going to wait until I am post-op to start living right.

xoxo,

Jess

The 10 WLS Commandments (made me laugh so I had to share)

THE 10 WEIGHT LOSS COMMANDMENTS


• Thou shall exercise 5 times per week for 40-45 minutes.
• Thou shall not covet the carbohydrate.
• Thou shall not eat more than 3 meals per day and shall not have unhealthy snacks between meals.
• Thou shall drink at least 8 glasses of water each day.
• Thou shall eat a minimum of 70 grams of protein each day.
• Thou shall honor thy commitment to good health and healthy choices.
• Thou shall keep follow-up appointments with thy doctor.
• Thou shall always take thy vitamins.
• Thou shall not weigh thyself more than once-a-week.
• Thou shall always keep the memory of the past and the hope of the future as a clear image in thy mind.

Support Group

Yesterday I made my first real step since my approval.

I went to one of my health plan’s bariatric support group meetings. Out of the 11 people there, only 1 was a post-op patient. Julie, the bariatric nurse/case manager, came to the meeting. I have spoken with her on the phone and conversed with her via email, so it was really nice to put a face to a name/voice. She has been with my health plan as the bariatric nurse for over 20 years, so her knowledge is precious and vast.  She knows the ins and outs of the procedures as well as all the paperwork stuff that goes along with it.

I have not had my consultation yet, so I was many steps behind everyone else that was there.  From hearing other people speak about where they were at in the process, I learned that it was going to take a lot longer than I expected and wanted. The number of referrals has grown and they only have 1 surgeon now. This means everything takes longer. There have been budget cuts in all sorts of departments, so what used to take 2 months is now taking 5-6.

I emailed Julie this morning to ask if she could get me signed up for the mandatory class prior to my first consultation, and again, she did! She is wonderful. My class is a 6hr class on June 6^th. They only have one class per month and the April and May classes are full. I am hoping I can schedule my pre-op visit for as soon after June 6^th as they will let me.

Another thing I found out, I will have a 2 night stay in the hospital and will be required to take 2-4 weeks off work depending on the doctors’ orders.  A little longer than I was expecting, but that’s ok.

All in all, I was very happy I went to the group. I plan on attending the one in May.  Its nice to get more of the specifics of my health plan from people who have gone through it.

Xoxo,

Jessica

17 days

17 days….

17 days until my 1^st consultation.

I

Cannot

Friggin

Wait!

I am going to my first support group meeting on Wednesday evening. It’s a great start and a great way for me to get accustomed to the specifics of the surgery through my health plan. I feel like I am waiting in line at Disneyland and it seems like it is taking FOOOOOREEEEEEVER. Before I know it I will be on the ride and it will be over faster than I know. I will look back and the wait won’t even be an issue. 

I have started trying to incorporate post-op behaviors into my daily life. This way the transition won’t seem so severe. I have been using smaller plates and bowls, and making sure I am getting enough water in. When I remember, I try to eat my proteins first then the rest.

As much as I want to, I am holding off on buying any post-op supplies as I have heard over and over again that your tastes change. I don’t want to have a bunch of useless protein.

My posts feel sort of boring to me right now… they will get more exciting once I have a surgery date I hope J

Xoxo,

Jess

"Why don't you try....."

Last night I had one of those experiences that I am sure EVERYONE that has WLS goes through. Someone telling you all the ways you could lose weight by NOT having WLS. Because they know better than you right? This is just something we all jump into with no thought because we are just fat and lazy and this is the easy way out. Right?

I really wish people would educate themselves before opening their mouths, but I do not live in a fantasy world.

My step dad, bless his heart, had an hour long conversation at me last night.. I say AT ME because he talked and I sat there and listened. He was explaining to me that people that go on prozac usually lose like 30-40lbs and that people that use CPAP machines usually lose 10-15lbs..  So his suggestion is that I dont get surgery I just go on pills that I don't need and sleep with a machine I also do not need.  

"Why don't you just try something else before you jump into surgery?"

REALLY!?

Have you not been paying attention to me for the last 16 years you have known me?

Lets make a quick list of all the something elses:

• Weight watchers
• Slim Fast
• Cabbage Soup Diet (old school this was when i was like 13-15)
• Nutrisystem
• Trainers at the Gym
• Low Carb
• No Carb
• Advocare
• Diet Pills
• Fasting

and probably more things I am not even thinking of because im all fired up!

Please be supportive.
Please trust that I have done my research.
Please don't try to be a doctor when you are not.
Please do your own research.

END RANT

xoxo,

Jess

Must haves and comforts...

Part of my pre-surgical journey has been digging up as much info as possible to get me prepare for the big day.  In this quest of ultimate surgical knowledge, I have encountered a lot of wonderful tips, products and ideas.  I am going to work on compiling them in this post. I will update it as I go.

Hospital Must- Haves:

• Pillow with your own cozy pillowcase
• Gas-X strips
• Toothbrush/paste
• Shampoo/Conditioner
• Clean undies
• Chap stick
• Lotion
• Phone/Tablet
• Mouth wash
• Slippers with grippers
• Abdominal Binder- I have only seen one person mention this but I would imagine it will be a friggin life saver

!

• Loose clothes
• Phone charger!

Pre/Post-op Must- Haves:

• Cup warmer (GENIUS! for those times you are eating something warm and don't want it to be cold by the time you finish)

• Powdered milk... for those liquid diet days when clear broth gets boring and you want something "creamy"
• Yonanas machine. It takes plain, frozen fruit and turns it into a frozen treat!

• How about Unjury's 21g of protein CHEESE SAUCE?! What fat kid doesn't like them some cheese sauce... mix this with some spaghetti squash and its healthy mac.

• Sippy cup/ Tervis cup!
• Baby spoons
• Baby plates
• Pill box for vitamins

Those are my best ones so far. I will add more as I find them!

xoxo,

Jess

The Struggle

I saw this meme on Facebook recently, and it reminded me of growing up. I have frequently had hot dogs or hamburgers with no buns, so we used bread. It didn't bother me, but it got me thinking about other struggles that people don't realize.

You don't know the struggle until:

• you cant sleep at night because your limbs start to fall asleep or hurt because your own body is crushing them
• you can only fit into leggings/stretch pants because even your fat work pants wont fit anymore
• you can't buy wide calf boots because even those won't fit around your legs
• you don't go shopping with you sisters because you can't shop at the same stores
• your XXL underwear fall off your ass all day because your front-butt gets in the way
• you sit at an angle in the car because your stomach gets in the way of the steering wheel otherwise
• you take the elevator vs. stairs at work because you don't want to be sweating and out of breath for the meeting
• you can't go to the gym because somehow your XXL gym clothes no longer fit
• you can't put your socks and shoes on
• you can't cut  (don't even think about paint) your own toe nails. 

the list goes on...

I found this tattoo a while ago, and I decided it would be a great post-weight loss tattoo. "without struggle there is no progress" It speaks to me on many levels. I have fought hard throughout my life to be successful, so that I didn't have to choose between sandwich bread and hot dog buns in the grocery story (although I should just really avoid carbs... and hot dogs to be honest). The struggle of being overweight is what drives me to want a change. Need a change. A lot of people in my life think this decision to get weight-loss surgery is one of vanity. Sure, I want to look good, but more than that I want to FEEL good. I want to be comfortable in my own body and know that I am doing what is best for ME. 

xoxo, 

Jess