Hurry up and wait... hurry up and wait... and again, hurry up and wait!

Sooooo I finally had my intake consultation on April 17th.

Great. Wonderful! LETS DO ITTTTT!

I got a bunch of tests and referrals ordered. Completed everything by 4/29. Not bad. I took the first appts that I could get for everything.

Pre-op class June 6th. Thats the soonest I could get scheduled. Damn.

Once I get all tests done I can schedule my Pre-Op visit, ok!

Call today....


JULY 2ND.

Thats the first one? :(

Surgery is usually scheduled 1-2months AFTER the pre-op visit.

So I am looking at August most likely.

Which makes me pout a little, but I know its for the best. August is the slowest time at work, and by then I will have enough paid time off accrued to take off 3 weeks. SO BUCK UP BUTTERCUP!  Time to enjoy life before surgery.

xoxo,

Jess

Pre-Op Headgames 2014!

In the past week or so I have found myself gravitating towards post-op behaviors. I am not making an active decision usually, its just what I am craving. For example, today I went to the café/mini store at work for a snack-lunch and grabbed cottage cheese, peaches, some cheese and a high protein milk shake (with a shot espresso).  These are all things that I like, and most of them are things I hear/see/read post-op sleevers/banders talking about eating.

Over the weekend, I found myself using smaller plates/bowls. I had been feeling like a cavernous pit of empty two weeks ago, and now I feel like I get full on a lot less. Pre-op head games.

I am happy for the change in direction. It will help to easy my system into these changes. Hopefully my body will not have such a shock this way. No matter what I do pre-op it will be a transition, but can’t hurt right?

Still going to the gym in the mornings. Nothing too crazy, just cardio right now. I am trying to build in the habit and then I will pump up the intensity.

Had an awesome beachy easter weekend with some family and the boyf. Went digging for razor clams.. and by went I mean my dad, step mom and step sister went clamming and I stayed and watched in the house. Moral support.  I didn’t get my license and didn’t want to risk it.  Still fun. We went to the crab races and walked around town.  It’s the 3^rd weekend in a month I have spent out there.

Feeling super sleepy today even with my morning gym sesh. Need to work on getting to sleep earlier. My goal tonight is to be in bed by 7…. This way I can hopefully be sleeping my 830-9. We’ll seeeeeeeeeeeee!

Xoxo,

Jess

Random Friday Funny

Saw this on facebook and it made me laugh...

Consultation Visit CHECK!

I was so excited for this appt today at 9:30am... 9:30.... 9:35.... 9:45 WTF why hasn't she called?  EMAIL..... 10:00....10:15 SERIOUSLY?!  VOICEMAIL..... 10:30 Call main office... Told to wait.... 10:45 ring ring... FINNALLLLLYYY

The scheduler entered my phone number incorrect.. lovely.

So she asks me a bunch of medical history questions, what do i do for work, do i exercise, etc.

Clean bill of health.. just fat.... obese... morbidly obese.

So she tells me that I have a packet coming in the mail with a list of ALL the things I need to do PRIOR to scheduling my Pre-op appt with the surgeon that has to happen AFTER my class which is scheduled for June 6th. She will try to schedule it as soon after the class as she can but I have to complete the list first. CHALLENGE ON!  Oh and surgery is scheduled 6-8 weeks after  the pre-op appt. So I am looking at August/Sept for Surgery. Kind of bummed about that, but it will be ok.

Going today at lunch to get my lab work done. Its the easiest thing on the list.

Hooooray

xoxo,

Jess

Short Hair Don't Care!

I was considering waiting until I was post-op and dropped like 50lbs or so to get a haircut.... but why wait to feel good until after I have surgery?!?

Crazy haircut story:

I went to a Hairmasters that I had never been to in a town that isn't super close to where I live, but I just felt like that was the best one to go to for some reason. My hair stylist is a younger chick named Ali. She is super cute and bubbly and we start talking about my Harry Potter phone case and random fan girl nerdy/geeky stuff.  Near the end of my hair cut when she was blow drying my hair, she started saying goodbye to the other hairstylist. She was saying good luck for her cardiologist and hope she clears him for surgery (anytime anyone mentions surgery now I auto think WLS) and the other lady responds with "he better! I didn't pay all this money and haven't been on a liquid diet for a week for nothing!"  DING DING DING! So I pipe up being the nosey-B I am, "Are you having WLS?"  YEP! She sure was... She is going to be getting sleeved.... Like me!

So totally random hair place at a totally random time, and I make a new WLS friend. We started yapping about different protein powders and websites to find supplements and all sorts of stuff. I gave her my number so she can keep in touch with me. Love it!!

Oh and here is the haircut......

A picture is worth 1000 words... so that is all :)

xoxo,

Jess

Self Destructive State of Mind

I am in this place of total self destruction.

Hooray for me, I have been to the gym the past three days. I feel good about that.

BUT

I am on this continual food funeral cycle. Like for instance, Soda... I don't care much for it, but now that I have it in my mind that I should not/cannot have it after I am sleeved now I want it? Terrible.

I went to all you can eat sushi this weekend with my mom and ate to the point of pain... because I think I can never have sushi again? Because I can never have that MUCH sushi at one time again? Why?

Today I am having chips.... I haven't had them in a long time and I usually don't have them, but somewhere in the back of my mind I think I want to eat all the crap I can until I see the nutritionist and figure out what they want me to do......

Like I don't already know?! With as much research on blogs and vlogs and everything else I am preeeettttty sure I already know what to expect.

Last night, right before bed aka the worst time ever to weight yourself... I weighed myself. the highest number I have ever seen my scale spit back at me: 300.2

WELP! There it is. 300.

(this morning it was back down to 296)

I just don't like where my head is at... half healthy and half ... grieving? I guess that must be it.

I LOVE food. I love it. All of it. I will try anything and everything. Part of me is sad that food won't be such a centralized thing in my life and part of me is grateful. I need to reshape my relationship with food without a doubt, but I don't know any other way of life.

Will be interesting to look back this after I am post-op and reflect.

xoxo,

Jess

1st Day Back

Today was my first day back in the gym since December.... WoW!!!!

I have been super slacking with my routine of gymming it in the AM before work. I just ordered new gym clothes and got them this weekend, so I started my week off right.

I have been known to bite off more than I can chew and then peeter out.  SOOOO Today I said I would do 30mins.

I did my 30 mins on the elliptical and 5 min cool down. I still have a 20min walk to and from my car to my office.

Tomorrow maybe I will get a little weight training in?

Feeling good.

It's important to me that I feel strong going into surgery. I am not going to wait until I am post-op to start living right.

xoxo,

Jess

The 10 WLS Commandments (made me laugh so I had to share)

THE 10 WEIGHT LOSS COMMANDMENTS


• Thou shall exercise 5 times per week for 40-45 minutes.
• Thou shall not covet the carbohydrate.
• Thou shall not eat more than 3 meals per day and shall not have unhealthy snacks between meals.
• Thou shall drink at least 8 glasses of water each day.
• Thou shall eat a minimum of 70 grams of protein each day.
• Thou shall honor thy commitment to good health and healthy choices.
• Thou shall keep follow-up appointments with thy doctor.
• Thou shall always take thy vitamins.
• Thou shall not weigh thyself more than once-a-week.
• Thou shall always keep the memory of the past and the hope of the future as a clear image in thy mind.

Support Group

Yesterday I made my first real step since my approval.

I went to one of my health plan’s bariatric support group meetings. Out of the 11 people there, only 1 was a post-op patient. Julie, the bariatric nurse/case manager, came to the meeting. I have spoken with her on the phone and conversed with her via email, so it was really nice to put a face to a name/voice. She has been with my health plan as the bariatric nurse for over 20 years, so her knowledge is precious and vast.  She knows the ins and outs of the procedures as well as all the paperwork stuff that goes along with it.

I have not had my consultation yet, so I was many steps behind everyone else that was there.  From hearing other people speak about where they were at in the process, I learned that it was going to take a lot longer than I expected and wanted. The number of referrals has grown and they only have 1 surgeon now. This means everything takes longer. There have been budget cuts in all sorts of departments, so what used to take 2 months is now taking 5-6.

I emailed Julie this morning to ask if she could get me signed up for the mandatory class prior to my first consultation, and again, she did! She is wonderful. My class is a 6hr class on June 6^th. They only have one class per month and the April and May classes are full. I am hoping I can schedule my pre-op visit for as soon after June 6^th as they will let me.

Another thing I found out, I will have a 2 night stay in the hospital and will be required to take 2-4 weeks off work depending on the doctors’ orders.  A little longer than I was expecting, but that’s ok.

All in all, I was very happy I went to the group. I plan on attending the one in May.  Its nice to get more of the specifics of my health plan from people who have gone through it.

Xoxo,

Jessica